I’m not actually Jesus


I know this may come as a shock to those who know me well, but I’m not actually Jesus.  I have been reflecting on this following our move to a village in Hampshire just before Christmas.  As I left behind my voluntary roles in the Parent Association at school and in our church in Berkshire, to embark upon a radically different life of being on the Parent Association at school and helping out at church here in Hampshire, I’ve been considering, within the boundaries of principally being a wife and a mother, how best to use my gifts and talents.  What to do?  What would Jesus do?

Given that Jesus chose to gather twelve disciples around him and wander around Israel revolutionising religion by getting rid of sacrifices and proclaiming direct access to God, healing anyone who came near, inaugurating a new era of turning the other cheek, forgiveness and acceptance by God, dying a horrible death in the place of another criminal and rising from the dead, I’m finding it hard to draw parallels with my own situation.  How do I apply what I read of Jesus’ life to my own?

As I have wondered many, many times over the past 9 years that I’ve been a mother, I wish Jesus had been a mother so I could have seen how he played it out.  I can see why he didn’t get involved in having his own children what with the problems of succession and the amount of time spent finessing completed homework assignments out of them.  But his abstention has been no great help to my thoughts about how to make my little mark on the world.

I feel absolutely called to be a mother.  Pouring love and life into two little beings, which is morphing into being the passive recipient of vented anger at the injustice of the world, which I understand will be my role in their teenage years, is absolutely what I feel I should be doing.  But is that enough?  Given that Jesus largely poured his life into twelve disciples, I feel that maybe focussing on strong relationships with my family is following in his footsteps.  I take comfort from the fact that Jesus was largely incognito for his first thirty years.  The answer to the question ‘What would Jesus do?’ in his first thirty years seems to have been, ‘hang out at the temple’, ‘change water into wine’ and ‘nothing much worth writing on parchment’.  I’m also inspired by the beginning of Nehemiah, where he hears about all the problems facing the exiles in Jerusalem and prays a heartfelt prayer asking for God to ‘Give your servant success today’ in approaching the king, which actually
doesn’t happen until about seven months later.

So, I have great hopes for what I will achieve with the last part of my life, when my children are independent, about thirty five years from now!  That’s when I will set the world on fire with my brilliant books and speaker tours.  In the meantime, my focus is my family.  That said, others appear to have other ideas.  Over the past few days I’ve been invited to help launch a charity to provide solar lighting to Africa, get involved with serving at church and put forwards proposals for a seminar stream at New Wine celebrating motherhood and inspiring the Church to tackle head on the stresses facing family life.  But first I need to cook the tea.


One Response to “I’m not actually Jesus”

  1. Jane Frazer Says:

    What an excellent article. I think you may be on to something, keep it simple and keep up to your daily commitments until you have the freedom to take things up a level.


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